There are so many people in the world perfectly comfortable in their unhappy lives.
That’s a rather harsh statement, but it’s true. Because I used to be one of them.
Why do people stay in toxic relationships? Why do people stay overweight and unhealthy? Why do people stay in jobs they hate? Because unhappy is better than unknown.
Think about it – even though being unhappy, and even uncomfortable, is, well, uncomfortable, it’s predictable. We know what’s going to happen day in and day out.
Trying something new, even though it’s better, is terrifying. The unknown is worse than the uncomfortable.
There are many who suffer from chronic pain that don’t actually want to get better. I know because it used to be me. Becoming accustomed to a life of a pain is a hard, agonizing process. It becomes a form of comfort. When nothing else is going right in life, you know that the pain will be there. That’s a very messed up way of thinking, but trust me, I totally understand it. Your whole life is limited by pain. What happens when the pain is gone? You don’t have any other excuses – you have to go out and live your life. That is terrifying. A life without pain just isn’t something that’s even fathomable anymore.
That’s an extreme way of looking at things, but how often do we do that in our lives? Even if you don’t understand a life of chronic pain, I can almost guarantee you do this in your life.
Staying in a relationship that obviously isn’t good for you? Yea, that’s you. Staying at a job that makes you want to pull your hair out? Yea, that’s you. Self sabotaging every attempt you make at getting healthy? Yea, that’s definitely you.
It all comes down to making a choice. Which do you want more: comfort or a life where you actually live up to your potential?
I realize this is easier said than done. But you know that saying, “change lies just outside of your comfort zone?” It isn’t just some motivational quote to put on your Pinterest board and go on about your day. This is a solid motto to live by.
If you don’t want to change, that’s totally fine. Your life is your life and I won’t judge you for that. But if you’re not changing because you’re afraid of the unknown, it’s time to put your big girl panties on and go for it. I know it’s scary. I know it can be downright terrifying. I know that you’re afraid of failure. Failing is how you learn. If everything went perfect every time you tried something new you’d never grow. You’d never learn new skills.
Growing up, I was a total perfectionist. If I got anything less than a 100% on a test I would stress about it to the point that I made myself sick. If it didn’t come easily to me, I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to risk not being good at something. So I stuck with what I knew. That was a boring and lonely life. I didn’t like to try and make friends, because what if I got rejected? I didn’t apply myself in science or math because if I didn’t try, it meant that I wasn’t actually failing.
I took these things with me into my adult life. I wanted to be the absolute best at everything I did to the point of becoming numb. I lost friendships, relationships, any sense of community really. Because I didn’t want to risk failing at them. If I never tried, I couldn’t fail. But what I didn’t realize is that I was stunting my own growth. It took a failed marriage and intense heartbreak for me to see that I was only hurting myself.
I wanted to start this website years ago, but I didn’t because I was scared no one cared. I wanted to get healthy and start training to become a bodybuilder years ago, but I was scared I’d never get there. I wanted a relationship but I was so scared I’d screw it up. I wanted to start a business but I was scared people wouldn’t support me.
In every one of these instances I became better and better at self sabotage. I became an expert at valid excuses. I didn’t fall into the victim role – I created it for myself. I built it. Piece by piece. Because why try? When the world is awful and you just can’t get ahead in life, why bother?
We were made for so much more than that. We have dreams and potential, we have drive and ambition if only we would channel it.
The master has failed more times than the beginner has tried.
Stephen McCrainie
I keep quotes like posted around my room, on my phone, and in my car. Because sometimes you need to give yourself a kick in the pants to realize how ridiculous you’re being. How do you become an expert at something? You DO it. How do you reach your goals? You DO something about them. How do you get the weight off? You get off your butt.
How do you continue to live a mediocre life full of “I wish?” You continue to make excuses.
I want you to understand that you have so much more potential than you could ever comprehend. I want you to get that you can do so much better than ‘just ok.’ Whether it’s settling for a subpar relationship, settling for an overweight body, settling for an ok job. You can do so much better. But you have to set standards for yourself in order to get there. You can no longer allow yourself to accept excuses. You need to create a plan and make it happen. Find something that you can do TODAY that will get you closer to your goals.
Don’t allow yourself to put it off for tomorrow. Make the decision right now that you’re going to go for it and you won’t stop until you get there. You’ve got this. I totally believe in you – you just have to step beyond the comfortable broken.
Is this something you struggle with? Did this resonate with you? Have you been able to push past your fears and finally work toward your dream? Tell me below! I’m excited to hear from you.
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