161: THIS is Keeping you Stuck


There is a real epidemic of people believing that they can’t have something.

I’m not sure where it all stems from since everyone’s lives are different, which means the origin of their beliefs are different.

Some people truly believe that joy, excitement, abundance, it’s not for them. This attitude breeds resentment towards people who have those things which then creates more of the belief and more resentment.

I used to be part of that group, so this isn’t coming from judgement.

But there is the reality that, when you put in the effort, you can bust out of that.

There are those that don’t want to put in the effort which is the unfortunate majority.

These people also become angry at and resentful of those who are willing to put in the work.

Are you beginning to see how this cycle perpetuates itself?

It’s a cycle of permanent misery and anger. Seeing others break free shows them that the way they’re living is a choice and they project their anger onto the person who chose freedom.

It’s time to call out this lack mentality in ourselves.

Where in your life are you saying “That’s great for them, but I can’t do that.”?

I do this with the YouTube community. I’m connected with many creators who have massive subscriber counts. Instead of being happy for their success, I found myself getting jealous and irritated. I began to judge them and act as if they had something that I deserved.

The truth, though, is that they’ve put in the hours, the effort, the blood, sweat and tears. If I deserve it, I need to put forth the same amount of effort for the same amount of time.

This stems from the fact that my life has been so out of control that I’ve wanted one thing to come easily. When I see other people’s success, I equate that with ease and become jealous.

I became resentful of people who got that success, who gave me advice.

But that’s ridiculous considering they’re out there busting their butt and putting in the work while I sit on my bed and spout off excuses why I can’t have it.

Whether it’s a YouTube channel, business, sports, or our personal recovery journey, we can all relate to this.

Many people read my posts or listen to my podcast and have this mindset.

“It’s great for her, but I can’t.”

We have to be super real with ourselves and call ourselves out when we are living in this lack mentality.

It’s time to start taking radical responsibility for our lives if we actually want change.

We have to hold ourselves accountable when we’re making excuses instead of taking action.

If you relate to this, ask yourself why.

Why are you jealous of this person? Are you jealous of the results they have or the fact that they’re living the life we want?

The next question we need to ask is: am I willing to do the work to get the results they got?

If the answer is no, then why stay jealous?

I first heard this on the Goal Digger Podcast by Jenna Kutcher.

When she starts to feel jealous, she asks herself, “if I am jealous of the results that they have, what work did it take to get there? How many years? How much time? What did they have to do? What were the tasks involved? How much time does it take away from their family?”

She really broke it down and it’s given me so much perspective.

If she’s willing to do the work, she’ll take the result and reverse engineer to figure out how to make it happen.

If not, she wishes them well and lets it go.

The other part of this is when others put their lack on us.

This comes up a lot when you choose healing. 

Whether it’s a family member, someone on social media or someone on the street, people are going to get upset at you for growing. Your healing threatens their victimhood so they want to keep you small. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes it’s subconscious.

People live in this belief system that the lot in life that they have is just what they have and there’s nothing else beyond it. They have gotten comfortable in the comfortable uncomfortable.

They’ve decided there’s no way out of it so they’re going to hang around.

Then they see you putting in the work, doing the journaling, listening to the podcasts, forgiving yourself.

It makes them mad because it shows them they don’t have to stay stuck and it highlights the fact that it’s a choice. They begin to see it as an attack.

Everyone is on their own journey, so don’t drag them into yours. Instead guard yourself against their lack and focus on your own abundance.

The ones who want to break free will be inspired by you. The ones who don’t will probably get left behind and that’s ok. That’s their choice.

You deserve to live a life of abundance and freedom. It’s out there waiting for you, you just have to believe you can have it.

If you want someone to hype you up, feel free to DM me on Instagram! I’m always in there and excited to celebrate you!


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