71: Who do you need to become?


How are you going to enter 2021?

Not what your goals are. Not the resolutions you’re making.

How are you going to step into the new year? Where are you at right now?

What do you want to experience in 2021? What’s the mindset you want to step into in 2021?

What are the beliefs you want to build or get rid of? If you are creating goals, are they going to require you to shift your mindset and step outside of your comfort zone?

How do you want to feel in 2021?

Not enough people are asking this question so I realize that it may seem a bit odd.

I personally don’t think there’s anything magic about January 1st, but it’s a great time to reflect on the past year. Think about what you liked and didn’t like, think about how you want to improve.

With that being said,

Who is the person I need to become in order to make that happen?

To bring this into context, here’s an example from my own life.

I want to be a competitive bodybuilder and I have for a very long time.

But as much as I talk about it, I haven’t taken much action. With this goal in mind looking at 2021, I had to get serious with myself and figure out what was missing.

Who do I need to become now in order to be the Karleigh that’s going to be standing on stage all buff and beautiful?

Instead of listing things I need to do, I need to shift how I think.

I need to shift my mindset.

Right now, I’m a person who makes excuses and procrastinates. But the Karleigh standing on stage isn’t an excuse maker. To have that kind of physique, she can’t make excuses. She’s all in.

I’ve been researching sports medicine and nutrition for years. I know how to eat, I know how to workout, I know how to rest. I know exactly what I need to do to make it happen, but clearly that’s not enough. I’ve had to look myself in the mirror and call myself out.

The issue isn’t that I don’t know, it’s that I haven’t been disciplined or focused.

So in 2021, I’m going to focus on being more disciplined. I’m going to focus on my focus; I’m going to put on blinders and keep my eye on the goal.

Of course within that goal I’m going to eat the right way, workout the right way, rest the right way. But it wasn’t until I recognized the issue that I shifted my thinking.

When I asked who you need to become, that’s what I’m talking about.

Without judging yourself, pull out a journal and begin to think about your goals and your 2020 story. Without judging yourself is the key part here. This is a time for reflection and growth, not judgement.

What held you back from those goals in 2020, pandemic aside?

Just like I had to see that I struggle with discipline, maybe you’ll find something that you need to focus on.

What was a spot you felt stuck? If you could go through that situation again, how would you have handled it now? How can you handle it better in the future?

I have no issue with New Year’s Resolutions. What I have an issue with is people making resolutions they don’t truly want to achieve or aren’t realistic for them.

If you resolve to run a marathon in 2021 but never put in the work in order to run the marathon, you don’t truly want it. If you expect to give yourself excuses not to train, then you don’t really want it. So don’t make it your resolution. There’s no shame in that, but don’t waste your brain space and the guilt for something you don’t really want. If you don’t truly want something, you won’t go through the work needed to make it happen. Don’t waste your time and go after something you truly want.

Sticking with the marathon example. If you’re super sedentary and spend most days sitting on the couch eating chips (I’m raising my hand here – this is me right now) but you make a resolution to run a marathon in April, it’s not realistic. That’s not to say it can’t be done, but if you’re not in the physical shape needed to make it happen or have the right mindset, you’re not going to do the work to make it happen. It may not even be physically healthy for you to do so.

If you say you want to run the marathon later in the year, that’s possible! It’s not going to be easy, but it’s more realistic and gives you more time with less intense training.

Neither of these examples are meant to shame you. Not at all. I am such a goal oriented person and I’ve set a lot of bad goals in my life. Goals that have caused me physical harm and unachieved goals that have given me so much guilt I didn’t want to leave my bed.

Stretch goals are great – set them!

But make sure that if you make them as a resolution, you have the resolve to make them happen.

I’m giving myself some really intense goals for the coming year because I know that I’m going to have the discipline to make them happen. That also meant I had to let some go because there are only 24 hours in a day and it wasn’t realistic for me to want to get every single desire into one year.

Take some time and put some real thought into this.

Begin to think about who you need to be in order to become what you want.

If you are six months out of an abusive relationship and want to reach a point where you’re independent and healing in 2021, what do you need to do to make it happen?

What podcasts do you need to listen to? Do you need to start journaling, maybe even grab the Worthy of Recovery printable journal? Do you need to find a coach and/or therapist? A community?

As you begin to process this, your brain is going to start giving you a list of things you need to do. That’s not what you need to focus on.

Instead think about the resistance. Focus on the excuses that come up, all of those reasons why your brain thinks that it’s just not possible.

Maybe your goal is to find a therapist, but all you can think about is how you don’t have the time or money. You then need to call out those as what they are: excuses. Then figure out how to negate them.

Do you truly not have time? You never sit down and binge Netflix shows or spend an hour scrolling TikTok?

Do you truly not have the money? Have you checked to see the mental health professionals covered on your insurance? Have you looked into financial assistance?

This is an oversimplified example, but the concept stays the same.

Whatever the goal is, begin to think about the person you need to become.

If you keep feeding yourself reasons why you can’t, then you’re playing your limiting beliefs on repeat. When you begin to call yourself out on those reasons and think about who you need to become, that’s powerful.

Instead of saying “I want to lose 50 pounds this year,” maybe your real goal is to heal your relationship with food. Once you focus on your relationship with food, you’ll get healthier and the weight loss will happen naturally.

This simple mindset shift could change your entire year.

Once you do that, everything else will fall into place.

Once you decide to become the type of person who achieves that goal, you’ll end up doing everything needed to make it happen.

This also takes the pressure off. By all means go after your big, tangible goals. But keep your mindset at the center of it all and you’ll be unstoppable.

If this resonated with you and you’re ready to take control of 2021, then you should check out the Worthy of Recovery printable journal. Every day for 30 days you’ll complete a journal prompt and document your gratitude and your daily victories. Worried that you don’t have the time? Included with the journal is a course that teaches you how to journal your way to freedom in less than 15 minutes a day. As an added bonus, you also get over 45 printable affirmation cards. It has all the pieces that helped me on my recovery journey and I know it’ll help you, too. Click here to grab yours!


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