66: Stop Flawing Yourself out of Success

Have you ever said you want to achieve something only to have all the negative voices in your head start listing off the millions of reasons why you just can’t do it?

Then you convince yourself that well, it would be cool, you’re just not qualified.
I mean, come on. What if you fail? What if you don’t know enough? What if you’re laughed at?

What if the entire world collapses because you can’t do the thing you want to do?

We have all gotten into this terrible habit of flawing ourselves out of success before we even get a chance to start.

Flawing, verb. The act of focusing on nothing but your flaws instead of taking action toward a goal. aka an excuse.

We think that by stepping away from something that we deem unimportant, like recovery, it’s only impacting that one area of our life.

But in reality it impacts every single part of your life. Neglecting your recovery is impacting your parenting, your job, your relationships.

Think about the scary thing you want to do. The thing that popped up in your mind when you read that. The thing you think about all the time, you just can’t help yourself. It’s the dream that absolutely terrifies you but you couldn’t get yourself to stop wanting it if you tried.

I totally understand how scary it is. I know how uncomfortable it can be to think about what has to happen for it to fall into place.

If we’re being completely honest, there is a very real chance that you could fail. There’s a chance you don’t know enough, that you don’t have the support.

However, the coin has two sides and you don’t get to pick just one.

If there’s a chance you can fail, you have to admit there’s a chance you could win.

There is a very real chance that you’re going to succeed. There’s a chance you’ll know enough, you’re strong enough.

Have you considered this? Have you taken the time to think about the fact that you could actually follow through and do something absolutely and totally amazing?

If you believe that you can fail, that means somewhere deep down, part of you believes that you can also succeed.

For whatever goal you’re going for, imagine yourself succeeding at it. Close your eyes and think about how you’ll feel. What the environment around you is like. What do you hear, see, smell?

How do you do this?

Grab a journal and answer the following prompts:

What is one goal you’re working toward?

Imagine yourself succeeding at that goal.

What do you feel? What emotions are coming up for you?

How does it physically feel like to succeed at that goal?

How does it feel mentally and spiritually?

How does it feel to tell your friends, family, social media that you’ve succeeded?

What does the environment around you feel like? What do you see, smell, feel?

Take some time and answer these and then come back to it often.

When you allow yourself to truly visualize like this, your brain doesn’t recognize the difference between actually doing it and imagining it.

If you sit down and allow yourself to truly feel and experience and imagine what it would be like you are putting yourself 30 steps ahead from where you are now.

You are pushing past all those limiting beliefs and your brain is going “oh, my gosh, this endorphin rush is amazing. This feels so good. Gimme more of that.”

Not knowing it feels like is something I can relate to.

“I don’t know what it would feel like to get out of this relationship.”

“I don’t know what it would feel like to break this trauma bond.”

“I don’t know what it would feel like to achieve my goal.”

“I don’t know how to experience joy.”

I used to not understand what happiness meant. I didn’t understand what joy felt like or how to experience gratitude.

As difficult as it may be, just let your brain imagine what it might feel like.

“But then if I feel like I can succeed, it’s gonna hurt even more when I fall.”

Here’s the fact of the matter: you are going to fall, you are going to screw up. And that’s ok.

When you fall, you’re not falling on square one. You’re not starting over.

Imagine you’re running a marathon and you trip at mile 10. Do you go back to mile one and start over? No! You get up and keep going until you trip again at mile 13, at mile 17, at mile 21. You get to keep going until you reach the finish line.

The progress that you’ve made isn’t lost. You get to take all of that knowledge, excitement, and drive with you.

“But Karleigh, what if I can’t do it? What if I can’t get back up and keep running?”

Who do you need to become in order to keep running? What type of person do you need to be to keep going?

Do you need to get more disciplined, get educated, rearrange your schedule?

I am not talking about your worth as a person.

You are already enough as you are right now.

You are worthy of your dreams simply because you exist.

What I am referring to is where you’ll need to go, how you’ll need to think and what you need to learn.

This is why self awareness is incredibly powerful.

Think about where you are now and who you need to become.

What’s the goal? What do you need to do to become the type of person who achieves that goal?

What do you need to do in order to make it happen?

Stop flawing yourself out of success. Stop focusing on all the reasons why you can’t and start thinking about the reasons why you can. Decide that today is the day and you’re going to make it happen.

Find just one reason to keep going. Give yourself one reason why you can and you’re already halfway there. That reason will be your weapon against every other reason why you can’t.

Now it’s time to put in the work.

Find people like you who have done what you want to do and use them as an inspiration. Seek out the information. Take a step. Start moving. You’re going to go so much farther than you ever thought possible.

The more you do this, the easier it gets.

You’ve got this, boo. I believe in you.

If this hit home for you and you’re feeling pulled to begin your recovery journey, then the Worthy of Recovery printable journal bundle is for you. This 30 day journal takes you through every step of my coaching framework. In less than 15 minutes a day, you’ll journal your way to freedom. With daily journal prompts, gratitude journal, and your self care record, you’re going to go SO far.

Also included with the bundle is a journaling mini course that teaches you how to efficiently journal so you can be done in 15 minutes. You also get over 45 printable affirmation cards. This bundle is AMAZING and it’s going to change your life. Click here to grab yours!

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