64: Recognize your Worth

You deserve healing.

Not only do you deserve it, you’re worthy of it.

Take a second and say that out loud, “I deserve healing. I’m worthy of healing.”

If it feels physically uncomfortable, you’re not alone.

Every client, every follower, every person I’ve come into contact with, myself included, didn’t even want to say it at first.

It feels radical, it feels crazy, it feels wrong. You’ve been taught to believe that you’re less than. You were told that it’s ok to lift up other women, but you? No, you’re not worthy of anything.

That’s why the last step of my coaching framework is focusing on building up your confidence and helping you to realize your worth.

While I focus on this throughout the program, we go hard on this right here.

When we are in abusive relationships, the first thing that the abuser attacks is our self worth. Because if we don’t feel like we’re worthy, they win. If we don’t feel like we’re worthy of standing up for ourselves or deserving of better treatment, we’re going to stick around longer.

That’s why focusing on your worth is something that I really, really want to hit home on.

Digging into your worth isn’t one specific thing like gaslighting or trauma bonding. Instead, worth ties it all together. It brings together not only your recovery journey, but your life as a whole. That’s why you feel so much resistance when it comes to your worth.

Not only has our self worth been completely beaten out of us by our abuser, but we’ve also been told by society that we are not allowed to recognize our own self worth.

We’re told that it’s selfish, that we’re being full of ourselves.

When really, that’s just not the case at all.

I fully believe that if we all chose to step into our power and recognize our worth, there would be a lot less problems in the world.

We would stop reaching out for external validation for whatever it is that we’re doing.

We would begin to look towards ourselves for those answers. We’d all be so much happier, and we would not tolerate the abuse that is thrown at us on a daily basis.

So many people want to to skip this step. They think that if they say their affirmations every day that all the sudden they’ll wake up completely transformed.

Yes, those affirmations are extremely important but they’re only part of the puzzle. I start my clients on these affirmations on day 1 of the program (check out this post for more info), but it’s not the whole program.

This journey is in completely individual. So some of the things I see here may not resonate, but I want you to begin to think about areas in your own life where you may be struggling to accept your sense of self worth.

What does that look like?

Dressing the way you think others want you to instead of dressing the way you want to.

Having your hair a certain way that isn’t what you truly want.

Doing the job you think you SHOULD do instead of what you WANT to do.

Not going after your dreams.

Not pursuing a hobby because you think others will think it’s stupid or a waste of time.

All of these are tied to your sense of self worth.

There’s a part of you that truly believes you don’t deserve those things, that you’re not worthy of them.

These are all things that we talk about and dig into. For the last few weeks of my sessions with clients, we dig deep into these topics because all of these give us a clue as to where we stand with our self worth.

Maybe your thing is makeup. Maybe you don’t feel like you are worthy of feeling beautiful without makeup. So you always have makeup on. Something that you would need to do is work on wearing less makeup and eventually wearing no makeup. Then going out grocery shopping, just to step into your own beauty.

Maybe your thing is, is you don’t feel like you’re allowed to enjoy makeup because you’re not perfect at it. What you would need to do there is to work on playing with bright colors, red lipsticks, maybe some fake lashes. Whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to try, go play.

Whether you need to add makeup or take makeup away, that is completely based on you and your own journey.

This is the power of recognizing your worth.

A lot of things have happened in our lives that got us into the abusive relationship to begin with. Whether that was a lot of bullying, at not so healthy family life, or the slow manipulation of a seemingly good relationship to an abusive one. Whatever it was, slowly but surely our worth was beaten down.

This is why focusing on your worth is so incredibly important. And the reason I do this at the end is because we have built so many skills that now we can apply those skills to our sense of self worth. When you get your sense of self worth back, you do not allow yourself to stay in abusive situations. When you know your worth, you will not allow yourself to be gaslit because you trust your gut and you know your truth.

You look at life differently.

You tolerate things differently. You don’t allow yourself to be put down at work, by the overbearing parent, by your baby daddy. Whatever it is, when you step into your worth, you step into getting your life back.

Recognizing your worth takes more work than it should, but by focusing on this at the end, you’ve built so many skills that it becomes so much easier. You recognize that you never lost your worth, you just couldn’t see it.

You recognize when you’ve been gaslit, you’re breaking trauma bonds, you’re healing your brain. We put all of these pieces together the last few weeks we’re together.

Each of these pieces is crucial to the journey. I do it all in this order for a reason.

All of these pieces are so critical to your journey and that’s why I include all of them in the Worthy of Recovery printable journal.

This 30 day journal is all you need to journal your way to freedom in less than 15 minutes a day. With a daily journal prompt, a gratitude and victory journal, and more, this is going to help you lay the foundation to take off towards healing.

Because I know journaling can seem intimidating, I’ve included a course that will show you how to do it all. I wanted to make sure this was as easy as possible to navigate. I don’t want this to be something you get and then forget about. I want you to get this and then do it every single day for 30 days. You’ll be surprised, and proud, at how much progress you make.

Click here to grab yours – I can’t wait to see you heal!

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