Growth isn’t easy. In fact, it can be downright painful. Why do you think there are so many people in the world that would rather stay where they are? Because they don’t want to commit to the journey, they don’t want to go through the pain that growth brings.
And trust me, I get it. That isn’t a judgement call by any means. I ran from growth for a long time and even now I feel resistance towards it. But I still put in the work, even when I don’t want to, because I know that the sooner I get through it, the sooner I get to experience the freedom that comes with it.
Because I know that growth can be scary, I wanted to be real with you. In today’s post I break down why growth hurts and how you can push through it.
Letting go of the past
The concept of letting go is one of the most uncomfortable parts of growth. Letting go involves a lot of different things, and the first part is acknowledging that you’re still holding onto it in the first place.
Accepting responsibility for your healing and growth is one thing, accepting that this is affecting you so badly because you’re still holding onto it is another. Letting go of something places personal responsibility on you.
You have to admit that you’ve been holding onto it and that once you let go it won’t hurt as bad anymore. That’s hard.
It’s as if you’re carrying this super heavy suitcase with you. It’s not the kind that rolls on wheels, it’s one you have to carry. You’ve been carrying it for so long that your knuckles are white. As much as it hurts to carry it with you, you know that once you put it down and uncurl your fingers, it’s going to hurt.
You know that your hand is going to be in pain for quite some time because it has to heal from holding onto something so heavy for so long.
And that’s ok.
It’s ok that you’re scared. It’s ok that it’s going to hurt. You’re not weak or frail because it hurts – you’re human. No one wants to feel this pain, but when you take a deep breath and work through it anyway, you’re going to experience so much relief. Imagine how much easier walking through life will be without this super heavy bag with you?
Accepting that you’re comfortable in the uncomfortable
This lesson is one of the most awkward, angering, uncomfortable, painful to learn.
Why? Because it hits you right in the pride. You don’t want to accept that you’ve actively chosen to be where you’re at. You don’t want to accept that the excuses you’ve made are just that – excuses.
So what does this mean?
A lot of the time, as much as we don’t like the place we’re in, we don’t really want to get out of it. Because as much as we don’t like it, we’re also getting something out of it: consistency.
Our brains love and crave consistency. Why? Because then it knows what’s happening next. It knows what’s about to happen. Even if it doesn’t like the way your mother talks to you or the verbal abuse you get at work, it likes that it knows it’s going to happen.
This is why we get comfortable in the uncomfortable and why it’s so hard to get out of this place.
The first step is acknowledging that this is what you’re experiencing. Acknowledging that you’re fearful of the future, that you’re scared of the unknown. That isn’t easy to do by any means but once you do, you take your power back.
Because now you’re not run by routine or by what your brain wants in that given moment, you’re run by what you want your life to be. Once you realize that where you are now isn’t what you want your life to look like, you’re going to get so much clarity.
Now I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy or simple or that life will just roll out the red carpet for you, but it does mean that you’re going to see life in a whole new way. And that even though it’s scary, you know that you’re strong enough to fight through it.
Allowing yourself to accept more
While this part isn’t super painful, it definitely isn’t comfortable. Allowing yourself to accept the gifts that life has for you is a really hard concept to understand.
All our lives we’ve been told that being excited about a gift that isn’t on your birthday or Christmas is selfish. We’re taught that asking for anything is selfish. We’re told that if we step out of line and ask or expect anything at all that we’re awful, selfish people.
That isn’t true. At all. But there are a lot of walls you’re going to hit as you continue along this path and work towards accepting it.
You’re going to come up against what your family has told you, what society has told you. You’re going to find things that a teacher told you or an ex told you. You’re going to realize that all of these things that were given to you by others are actually holding you back. And that what you’ve been believing all these years, possibly your entire life, is wrong.
This part of your journey involves a lot of letting go and accepting that you’ve become comfortable in the uncomfortable. And it’s hard.
But once you allow yourself to do this, you’re going to find that life is a lot more generous than you thought it was.
Growth isn’t easy. And it isn’t a straight line. It’s hard. It’s messy. It’s vulnerable. It’s falling on your feet and forcing yourself to get back up. It’s feeling like you’re going 10 steps forward and 8 steps back.
But boo – that’s still progress. Just like when kids get growing pains from physical growth, we go through growing pains for mental and emotional growth.
Letting go, humbling yourself to admit that you’ve become comfortable in the discomfort, and opening yourself up to all of the amazing things life has for you, none of that is easy at all.
But girl, you deserve it. You deserve to experience the freedom on the other side of the growing pains. You deserve to live a life that’s wonderful, incredible, magical. You deserve more than settling for the mediocre.
You’ve got this, boo!
If you’re ready to start on your journey but don’t know where to go, then it’s time for my FREE Confidence Course! This is a 5 day Crash Course with me as your confidence coach! I give you the exact step by step framework that I give my clients. After the five days, you’ll have the knowledge, skills, and ability to go after your most confident life. Click here to grab your spot!