Did you know that you simply existing brings so much more value to the world than if you weren’t here? I know that you don’t believe me, but you are absolutely amazing.
You are allowed to exist without apology. You are allowed to speak your mind and state your opinions.
You’ve been through a lot. Life has taught you that it’s better to be invisible.
But there’s a lot more for life to teach you.
Life taught your brain how to survive. It’s now time to teach your brain how to live.
There are three key things that I have done to help me on my journey and I know if you apply them, they’ll help you, too.
Something that I see (and hear, and read) far too often is women apologizing for existing. You may not notice that you’re doing it, but there’s a good chance that you are.
Here’s what I mean:
This may sound stupid, but…
I’m sorry if this is a dumb question but…
- Apologizing for your opinion
- Watering down your opinions
- Hiding parts of yourself
- Allowing people to walk all over you
- Caring more about their feelings than your own
If you want to start seeing your worth and accepting how freaking amazing you are, you’ve got to stop apologizing for simply existing. You deserve SO much better than you could ever possibly understand.
Getting your brain to accept your existence is SO important. Every time you apologize for that existence, you tell your brain that you don’t belong here. That the world is doing YOU a favor for allowing you to be here.
This is incredibly important. The first step to doing this is getting your self talk right. And part of that self talk is NOT negating your existence. You have SO MUCH to offer the world – it’s time to start acting like!
Use your voice
Your voice is more powerful than you could ever know. Anyone who has experienced any type of trauma or abuse has ‘learned’ that they need to keep their mouth shut and not speak up.
The abuser counts on this because once you lose your voice, your ability to speak up, you lose your power. Your voice is how you set boundaries.
When you start accepting everything you have to offer the world, it will make some people uncomfortable. That’s ok. You teach people how to treat you.
Use your voice to speak up and tell people what you will and won’t be ok with.
It’s going to be awkward and uncomfortable and that’s ok. The more you use your voice, the easier it will become.
By speaking up, you state your place in the world. You’re showing others, but most importantly yourself, that you belong here and you have a right to exist.
The more often you do this, the more your brain will begin to solidify the message that you matter and you’ll wake up one day believing it. It’s truly beautiful when that happens.
Listen to leaders who lift you up
When you’re learning to exist without apology, you need to find people who are going to help you shift that mindset. Going about it on your own will waste an unnecessary amount of time and energy.
Finding leaders to guide you will give you a roadmap about what to do and when.
Find a coach who specializes in the area where you want to grow.
For example, I’m an abuse recovery and confidence coach, so women come to me if they’ve experienced an abusive relationship and want to heal from it.
Whatever the thing is that you think is holding you back the most, find someone to guide you through it.
My life changed when I found my first coach. I followed him for awhile before I really applied anything that he said. If I could go back and change anything, it would be to implement what he said SO much sooner.
I used to come up with a million and ten excuses as to why what he was saying just wouldn’t apply to me.
But once I threw the excuses to the side and put in the effort, my life did a complete 180.
So find a leader you trust and apply what they say. Watch your life begin to shift.
Read the books. Listen to the podcasts. Once you find a leader you connect with and trust, buy their course or coaching program.
Don’t overwhelm yourself with information, but find someone that you can stick with for a while and learn all you can from them.
You deserve to exist without apology. You deserve to express yourself without wondering if you’re allowed to. Girl – you’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to speak up. You’re encouraged to! Anyone who doesn’t like your light doesn’t deserve it.
I know it isn’t easy, but if you learn how to stop apologizing, to speak up, and to find a leader to guide you on your journey, you’re going to find yourself miles ahead of where you are now.
If you’re ready to take this to the next level, then I’ve got something special for you. My Mini Coaching Bundle is an excellent ‘starter kit’ to get into coaching. It includes my Shout Your Story masterclass that teaches you how to use your voice and speak up with confidence, my Journal to Freedom journal prompts which will help unlock your amazingness, as well as a one hour coaching session with me!
Valued at over $300, you get it for only $147! If you’ve been wanting to try coaching but not sure if you want to invest in a full program, this is an excellent way to start. Click here to learn more and grab your bundle!
You deserve this, boo. I can’t wait to work with you!