I felt the heat rising in my gut but I couldn’t bring myself to respond. My boss was going off to a new employee about how lazy I was and how no one cared about the product.
At the time I was the head baker for a gluten free vegan bakery. I knew without any doubt that I was amazing at what I did. I worked hard, the customers were loving the product. But because I didn’t allow her to walk all over me, I was the villain in her story.
That day I put in my two weeks notice and never allowed situations like that to happen again.
That was the first time I really stood up for myself. That was the day that I made it very clear that I would not allow anyone to talk down to me because I deserved better than that.
Standing up for yourself isn’t easy in the least. However, it is something that you can get better at. Even though I didn’t completely tell my boss off for being so unprofessional, I set a boundary for myself and her. That was standing up for myself.
So many people have reached out and asked how to stand up for yourself in the face of adversity.
I broke it down, step by step.
If you implement these strategies, you’ll be able to stand up for yourself no matter the situation.
Let’s get to it!
Stop putting yourself down!
Before you can stand up for yourself with others, you first need to begin to believe in yourself. This starts with cutting the crap.
I realize that that’s harsh, but that’s cutting straight to the point.
You can’t expect to have the strength to stand up for yourself when you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re dumb and worthless.
You’ve got to stop pulling yourself down and start hyping yourself up.
Every time you find yourself speaking negatively about yourself, state the opposite out loud.
For example, if you find yourself saying, “Man I’m so stupid,” say “I am intelligent” out loud.
As you begin to combat this negative self talk, you’re training your brain to catch itself.
Here’s an episode of the Confidence from the Ground Up podcast where I dig deep in to self talk and how to make it work for you.
Click here to get to it!
Consume confidence-building content
Surround yourself with things that lift you up and light that fire under you. Listen to podcasts, read confidence building books, listen to music that gets you going.
As you continue your confidence journey this is important, but especially when you’re learning to stand up for yourself.
Getting yourself hyped up will help get you going when you’re not entirely comfortable standing up for yourself yet.
Just like the right song can get you ready to lift heavy at the gym, constantly filling your mind with confidence building content will keep your foundation strong and you’ll be able to lean on it when you need that extra push.
Learn to trust your decisions
A big part of standing up for yourself is trusting that you’re making the right decision. You have to trust that standing up for yourself is the right thing to do.
The first step to trusting your decisions is following through with decisions that you make.
If you tell yourself you’re going to start your Couch to 5k program tomorrow, do it. Don’t start listing off excuses the moment your alarm goes off.
If you tell yourself you’re going to get a project done by next Thursday, figure out a plan and make it happen. Don’t procrastinate every chance you get to work on it.
You don’t trust yourself because you haven’t given yourself reason to trust yourself. The way to fix that is to follow through on what you say you’re going to do.
I know that’s easier said than done but it’s important. Start small.
Start with saying “yes” to the 10 minute walk you said you were going to do before bed.
Start with saying “yes” to turning off your phone an hour before bed.
Start with reading the first chapter of that book you bought yourself last year.
Whatever it is, just start. Start and finish.
You need to prove to yourself that you have reason to trust yourself. The more you do this, the easier this will get.
Set boundaries and keep them.
What I have found is that while many people say that they’re good at setting boundaries, they also struggle with standing up for themselves.
However, that’s a boundary issue. You may not struggle with setting boundaries, but you need to be able to keep them.
Standing up for yourself is where you keep and enforce those boundaries.
I have a lot of resources when it comes to boundaries, including this podcast episode. I dig deep and share a lot about how to set and keep boundaries. Check it out here.
It isn’t easy, but if you consistently apply these steps, you’ll be standing up for yourself in no time.
Stop putting yourself down, fill your mind with things that lift you up, learn how to trust yourself and keep your boundaries. If you can do that, then you’ll blow your own dang mind.
I know it’s easier said than done. And it will take time. But if you allow yourself to commit to this and do the work, I promise that you can do it.
You’ve got this, boo!
If this resonated with you, then girl, you’re going to love this! I have a FREE Build your Boundaries class coming up on September 5th, 2020. That’s where I’m going to go super deep and get to the root of the boundary issue and teach you how to not only set them, but keep and enforce them with confidence. That includes how to stand up for yourself! Click here to grab your spot!