What’s an affirmation, anyway?
An affirmation is something that you tell yourself that affirms a belief. So if you tell yourself that affirmations are stupid, that’s an affirmation. You’re affirming the belief that affirmations are stupid. If you believe that you’re kind, that’s an affirmation. You’re affirming the belief that you’re kind.
Creating and saying affirmations is about training your brain to believe the truth – that you are strong, capable, intelligent, and worthy.
Whether you believe them or not right now doesn’t matter. What matters is that you say them consistently
How do you create your own affirmations?
Step one: notice how you talk to yourself.
It’s really important to recognize when you’re calling yourself stupid, fat, ugly or any range of negative things.
It’s equally as important to notice when you’re sabotaging yourself out of a project or goal that you’re working towards. Maybe you’re wanting to start a new workout plan and before you even begin you catch yourself saying things like, “I’m sure I’ll quit two days in. I’m never going to be able to do this. I’m too lazy to actually succeed.”
The reason we need to pay special attention is because it can become so normal that we don’t even know when it’s happening.
Keep a journal near you every day for the next week. Make a note when these negative things stand out to you.
As you do this, you’ll recognize a pattern. You’ll see the things you say to yourself the most.
Warning: this is not permission to beat yourself up. This is just about getting curious, not about getting mad at yourself for putting yourself down. At that point its just self deprecation-ception, right? Beating ourselves up for beating ourselves up? Nope, we’re not doing that anymore.
Just be curious. Catch it, say “wow, I called myself ugly. That’s interesting.” Then write it down.
When you look back over your journal, recognize those patterns. If you call yourself stupid more than anything else, that’s going to be the main focus.
But if you notice a few things you say consistently, pick up to three of them.
Step two: Recognize that these negative things aren’t the truth.
Just because you believe it doesn’t mean that it’s true. When you say these negative things over and over again, you create solidified connections in your brain that creates these beliefs.
Going against that isn’t going to be easy, it’s going to take time, but it’s going to be worth it. When you allow yourself to even consider the fact that you’re maybe not as stupid as you think, you unlock the door to more possibility than you ever thought possible.
Step 3: Write down the truth.
Look back over those one to three things you listed that you say to yourself all the time.
The next thing you need to do is write down the truth. What is that truth?
The opposite of those negatives.
If you call yourself stupid, you’d write down “I am intelligent.”
If you call yourself ugly, you’d write down “I am beautiful.”
You may find that this is more difficult than you thought. Writing these down may bring up a lot of emotions in you. Working with clients, there have been tears, there’s been nausea, there’s been anger.
Any response you have to this is totally ok.
But here’s an important thing to keep in mind: you don’t have to believe it right now.
I am in no way telling you that you need to believe these things right this second. You don’t even have to believe that these are even an ounce of truth.
I recognize how difficult this can be because I’ve done this myself.
Take a deep breath and write them down. Even if it’s a rapid scribble because you need to get it out before you think about it too much.
Step four: Make these your affirmations and say them daily.
Those one to three truths you wrote down are now your affirmations. Say them consistently, out loud, even if you don’t believe them.
Even if you feel ridiculous, say them out loud.
Put them on sticky notes and place them all around your house, in your car, in your wallet. Whatever you need to do to say these daily and be reminded of them.
Step five: Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say your affirmations out loud to yourself.
When you look at yourself in the eye and say these out loud, you’re hitting your brain from several different angles. Check out episode three for more details on this.
Step six: be consistent and patient.
This is going to take time. You’re fighting back against years of negative connections that have solidified in your brain. This isn’t going to fix itself over night. It also isn’t going to fix itself from you saying your affirmations once or twice.
You have to make this a daily practice.
The magic in this is that it’s going to be a gradual change. One day several months from now you’ll be going about your life and realize that you haven’t crapped on yourself all day. It’s going to hit you that you actually believe that you’re strong, capable, intelligent, worthy.
That moment is absolutely beautiful and one of my favorite parts of being a coach.
If you want some help in this area, grab my free confidence course. In 15 minutes a day for 5 days, I walk you through exactly how to use these affirmations to build up your confidence and finally live the life that you deserve. Click here to grab your spot!