Confidence can feel overwhelming when you don’t know how to harness it. We see these people that just seem so unstoppable and think that they were born that way. They may have had a different upbringing so confidence was cultivated in them earlier in life, but confidence isn’t genetic. Confidence is a skill to be learned. Unfortunately most of us had the confidence knocked out of us as kids. Heck, even as adults.
The good news, however, is that you can get it back. Confidence is a learnable skill. That means that if you put in the effort to learn it, you can conquer it and finally use it to your advantage. Here I share with you the exact steps that I give my clients who are struggling with confidence and believing in themselves. I also have something special for you at the end, so make sure you read it through.
Let’s get to it!
Self Talk for the Win!
How you talk to yourself determines your success. If you consistently tell yourself that you’re not good enough, then what’s the point in even trying? But if you tell yourself that you can do hard things, that you can go after your dreams, you’re going to be too excited not to make them happen. That’s the power of self-talk.
What you tell your brain, your brain makes reality.
Before focusing on what not to say, the first step is to focus on what you should say.
The first thing I have my clients do is work affirmations into their daily routine. The more you add good things into your brain, the less room there will be for the negative things.
If you’re new to affirmations, I’ve got four for you:
I am strong.
I am capable.
I am intelligent.
I am worthy.
Say those out loud to yourself twice a day. Whether you believe they’re true or not doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that you build consistency and tell your brain that these are facts, whether you believe them or not.
Developing the habit of gratitude journaling will impact your life more than you’d probably realize. When I first heard the word ‘gratitude’ I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, so if that’s you right now, I’m not judging you. But I am going to ask that you have an open mind.
When you consistently think about and write down the things you’re grateful for, you’ll see the world in a more optimistic way. I’m not saying that you need to be Pollyanna and always happy all of the time. But our brains are literally hardwired to look for the negative, so if you don’t actively seek out the positive, your brain won’t see it.
By having a gratitude journal, you’re training your brain to look for those good things and see the positives in general.
Make it a habit that at the end of every day before bed, you list at least 5 things you’re grateful for. The more you do it, the easier it will become.
Maybe you’re thankful for where you live, the car you drive, the food you eat. Try to dig a little deeper.
Be thankful for the way the sun feels on your skin, the way snow crunches under your feet. The sound of the tide as you sit by the ocean.
As you write these things down, you’re creating a collection of gratitude to look back on when the days get tough. There are days that just suck. There are days when you’re really struggling to find a single thing to be grateful for.
Those are the days where you can pull out your gratitude journal and see that there are better days than the one you’re in and that you do have a lot to be grateful for.
The more gratitude you have for life, the more your confidence will grow!
Continuing to consume confidence-building content is critical. As we go throughout our lives, we’re surrounded by things that make us question ourselves and the world around us. There are also those people that don’t want you to grow, they don’t want to grow into your confidence. These people are so set in their ways, and generally not very happy with their lives, so they don’t think anyone should be happy. I don’t want you to fall into that trap.
Listen to confidence promoting podcasts (shameless plug for Confidence from the Ground Up, my podcast all about this), read books about personal growth and development, watch movies and documentaries about things you’re passionate about. Listen to music that makes you feel more confident in who you are and limit the songs that bring you down. Read blogs, follow people on social media that make you feel like the star you are.
This will act as a buffer and constantly keep your brain primed for growth and belief in yourself.
Go outside of your comfort zone
The quickest way to grow your confidence is to do something that is outside of your comfort zone.
Have you always wanted to be a public speaker but are afraid of being in front of people? Hop on live on social media and just share something you enjoy. This is outside of your comfort zone, so after you do it you’re going to get a spike in your confidence because you just did the dang thing. Even though were scared, you did it.
The more often you do this, the quicker your confidence will grow. This happens because you’re able to see that you really can do hard things. You can do things that scare you. This will give you momentum to do it again, to do something even farther outside of your comfort zone than that.
Regardless of what it is, if it’s something you’ve always wanted to do but are too scared to go out of your comfort bubble, now is the time.
So often we wait for confidence to strike before we actually do the thing. However, we won’t get confidence to do it if we don’t do the thing. It doesn’t need to be anything crazy, it just needs to be at least one step outside of your comfort zone in order to impact your confidence level.
Confidence doesn’t need to be the elusive unicorn we are constantly chasing. Once you change your perspective and see that confidence is a skill to be learned, you’ll see that you’re much more capable of achieving it than you thought.
Once you begin to get your self talk in check, stay grateful, consume more uplifting content and go outside of your comfort zone, your confidence will surely grow. You are an absolutely amazing person and you deserve to see that for yourself.
The more you commit to your confidence journey, the more it will cultivate inside of you.
If you’re ready to go all in on your confidence journey, join my free five day confidence course.
This will give you a crash course with me as your coach. I will guide you to more confidence in less than 15 minutes a day. You’ve got this, boo! I’m always cheering you on.