Mom Guilt and Confidence

Ok momma, I’ve got a question for you: how are you feeling about you? How’s your confidence level?

If you’re anything like me, when you read that you probably rolled your eyes.Who has time to think about confidence, let alone actually feel it?!

Trust me, I feel you. But what I didn’t realize is that my lack of confidence affected more than just me. It affected my son and how he not only viewed me, but how he viewed himself.

So I went on a mission to grow my confidence so I could be the best mom I can be. Here I share my top tips to help you grow in confidence and be the momma you truly want to be.

At the end I’ve got something pretty cool for you – so make sure to read to the end!

Recognize all you do in a day – make a list

Do you ever feel like you’re working so hard but at the end of the day you haven’t actually accomplished anything? Do you ever feel like you never really do anything and it makes you feel rather worthless? Girl – I’ve been there. On more occasions than I’d like to admit. But before I get into the strategy, here’s a spoiler: you’re NOT worthless.
What I see so often, particularly in women, we think our worth is in our performance. Our worth is in how much we get done in a day. Our worth is in how well behaved the kids are. Our worth is in how the house looks at the end of the day. Our worth is in how WE look at the end of the day.
Your worth is NOT tied to your productivity. You can’t earn your worth. You will never be more worthy than you are right now. There’s nothing you can do to add to your worth or take it away. Why? Simply because you exist. Because you exist, you are worthy. Period.
With that being said, it can be hard to feel like you’re being run ragged for nothing. Frankly, you probably don’t even see how much you do in a day. So how do we fix that?
Grab a notebook.
On the top of the page, you’re going to write the date. Throughout the day, you’re going to list every single thing that you do. Every. Single. Thing.
Change a diaper? It goes on the list.
Fill the dishwasher? Goes on the list.
Clean up a spill? Goes on the list.
Do a load of laundry? Goes on the list.
You’re going to take this notebook with you throughout the day and write down everything you did. At the end of the day, read through every single thing.
Really take in everything you did. Allow yourself to accept all that you do.
I guarantee you’re going to realize you do a lot more than you think you do.

Pay attention to how you talk to yourself/self-talk

Stop beating up on yourself. Seriously. Every time you tell yourself that you’re not good enough, that you’re worthless, that you’re stupid, your brain solidifies that as truth. It also teaches your kids that that’s an acceptable way to not only talk to you, but to themselves.
I realized about a year ago that my son was talking down to himself. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why he thought he was so stupid, dumb, etc. But I realized that he was talking to himself the way that I talked to myself. And it broke my heart to know that I was laying the foundation for a lack of self-confidence in his life.
So how do you combat that?
Start with adding in as much positive self talk as possible. Tell yourself, out loud so your kids can hear you, that you’re proud of yourself. That you feel really good. That you appreciate the body you have. That you’re really smart because you know how to XYZ.
I started saying affirmations with my son every morning and every night for a few months now and the difference I’ve seen is incredible.
The four affirmations are:
I am strong.
I am capable.
I am smart.
I am worthy.

For more information on why this is important and how it works, check out this post. It will definitely help you get on track with your self-talk game.

Celebrate with your kids

One of my titles is “Professional Hype Woman” and for good reason. I am all about celebrating the victories in your life – even the smaller things that you may not consider ‘victories.’

When your kiddo does something good, we celebrate them. We tell them they did an amazing job, we’re proud of the effort they put in, and they’re just so amazing. But when we accomplish anything, we just shrug it off and go to the next thing, because we’re so frustrated at ourselves for not being further ahead.

So right now, we’re taking it back to basics. Remember that list I had you make earlier?

That’s where you’re going to start.

Celebrate all that you do and do it with your kids. You can watch a special movie, turn on the music and have a dance party, or maybe go to the park. Whatever you want to do. But make sure that the family knows that it’s because you’re proud of yourself for everything you’re doing.

This will not only teach your kids that you’re worth celebrating, but it will also teach them that they’re allowed and encouraged to be proud of themselves. And so are you.
This will tell your brain to celebrate and encourage you every time you accomplish something. This will help to counteract the frustration at the end of the day feeling like you didn’t do enough. Your brain will begin to learn that what you do get done is worth celebrating.

As moms, we get so caught up in helping everyone else that our own confidence goes out the window. But what we don’t realize is how important it is to work toward confidence and take steps every day on the journey. By recognizing all you do in a day, managing how you talk to yourself and celebrating those victories, you are well on your way.

Just the fact that you’re reading this right now is a sign that you’re an amazing mom who deserves to work on herself, too. You’re managing the lives of little people – you deserve to take a step back and really see how amazing you truly are.

If you’re ready to take your confidence journey to the next level, sign up for my free Confidence Course! This is a 5-day crash course into confidence with me as your coach! Each lesson is less than 15 minutes and will drastically change your life if you let it. Click here to jump in!

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