It’s something I hear all of the time. Heck, it’s something that I used to get caught up in all of the time. And it’s the concept of “I can’t.” People love to talk about what they ‘can’t’ do. They can’t run a marathon, they can’t ask for a raise, they can’t start the business, they can’t heal. There’s so many “can’ts” in the world that we don’t even give ourselves a chance to succeed.
The fact of the matter is that no one wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room: the fact that they can, it’s just that they won’t. You have the ability to go after your dreams, you’re just not allowing yourself to take the first step.
I know that this isn’t an easy pill to swallow. But if you’re still here, then you’re ready to change your can’ts into cans and go after your best life. Keep reading to find out how!
So what does ‘can’t’ mean, anyway? ‘Can’t’ means that you physically are unable to do something.
For example, I can’t fly without machinery assisting me. That’s an undeniable fact. No matter how much I wish for my body to sprout wings like Hawks on My Hero Academia, it just isn’t something that will happen. There’s nothing that I could possibly do to get my body to sprout wings. And that’s the finality of ‘can’t.’
When you say you can’t do something, it means that there is absolutely no possible way that you can do it. However, it has taken on a new meaning of it’s own in today’s society. “Can’t” has turned into “I just really don’t want to. It’s too much work. I don’t want to make the time. I don’t want to put in the effort.”
That’s kind of a hit to the ego. Trust me, I know.
What’s the definition of “won’t?” Won’t means that you will not do something. It’s an active choice that you will not follow through with something. Either due to time, effort, or moral choice. You have made the conscious decision not to do something. This is generally what people mean when they say they ‘can’t’ do something.
Won’t, however, puts responsibility onto the person. Saying you won’t do something feels different than saying you can’t do something.
Think of something that you’ve been putting off. Something that you say you want to do but you just can’t. Then say “I can’t [insert what it is here].”
That feels pretty noble, huh? The idea of saying you can’t do something although you want to puts us in the position of a martyr. We fell like we’re self sacrificing and it feels good. But now we’re going to flip it.
Say “I won’t [what it is here].”
Dang – that one hits different, right? It doesn’t feel as good as saying can’t. When you admit that you won’t do something, it requires taking responsibility. It takes away the excuses we give ourselves as the reasoning behind why we ‘can’t’ do something.
For every situation that you say that you can’t, you need to ask yourself if it’s true. Ask yourself if it’s actually physically impossible for you to do the thing. Now, here’s the deal. You’re allowed to say you don’t want to. You’re allowed to say that you won’t do something because of boundaries, a full schedule, a toxic, or simply because you just don’t feel comfortable. That’s 100% ok.
But it is important to begin to acknowledge how often you say the word ‘can’t.’ So often we tell ourselves we can’t do something because we don’t want to put in the effort, time, thought. When you say that you can’t do something, you’re saying that you don’t want to risk failure, you don’t want to risk getting it wrong. But the fact of the matter is that you can, you just don’t want to.
Do you tell others (and yourself) that you want to run a marathon but you just can’t? Let’s break this down. Do you have legs? Yes? Then you can run a marathon. No? Look up the many people with missing limbs that have completed a marathon. There are no physical barriers keeping you from running a marathon. So the fact isn’t that you can’t, it’s that you won’t.
We all tend to do this in so many other areas of our lives. Whether it comes to work, family, relationships, dreams. We tell ourselves we can’t because we don’t want to take responsibility for the fact that we just won’t. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to do something. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to put in the effort towards something. But if you actually wanted to do it, you’d make it happen. If you don’t, you’ll keep coming up with excuses.
You’ve got this.
When you choose to say ‘won’t’ instead of ‘can’t’, you’re taking responsibility for your life. You’re saying that you have a say in what you want to do and you’re capable of going after it. When you say that you won’t, you’re taking your power back. When you admit that you won’t, you empower yourself to take action. You no longer have the ‘can’t’ excuse to lean on. That’s the first step to taking your life back and achieving things you never would’ve thought possible.
You’ve got more potential than you could even imagine. You’re capable of more than you give yourself credit for. It’s time to stop giving yourself excuses. It’s time to take responsibility for your life. Stop telling yourself you can’t and you’ll realize very quickly that you CAN.
Did this resonate with you? Are you ready to throw your excuses to the wind? Jump into my free 5 day Confidence Course. This is a 5 day Crash Course where I coach you through the foundations of confidence so launch you toward your best, confident, independent lives. Click here to jump in!