Episode 16: Do you believe you’re Deserving?

Have you ever thought about how you’re allowed to feel? What about what you deserve to feel?

I feel like we’ve gotten so desensitized to what that even means.

We say we deserve better – yet we stay in the crappy situations.

Whether it’s an abusive relationship, a so so relationship, a job we don’t like, a friend that treats us like crap, putting off starting a new workout program.

We say we deserve better, but we never actually act on it. So when you say you deserve better, do you truly believe it?

If I can share a mind blowing bit of tough love with you: you don’t.

You don’t believe it. You don’t know how to believe it. You don’t even know how to begin when it comes to believing you deserve something.

According to Google definition, deserve is a verb defined as: do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment).

Now that we have the details out of the way, understand this: you DESERVE to feel beautiful.

You have PLENTY of qualities that are worthy of feeling that beauty.

Regardless of how you see yourself, you deserve to feel that way.

So I’m here to give you the permission you’ve been waiting for: FEEL BEAUTIFUL.

Do the things that make you feel undeniably beautiful.

But there’s a catch with this: things that require validation from others do not count.

Here’s what I mean.

When I start to feel down on myself, my gut reaction is to turn to easy ego boosters like Tinder or texting an old fling.

Maybe that’s admitting too much, but I know for a fact I’m not the only one. If any of my clients are listening to this – know that I’m calling you out, too.

Those things are like a quick hit of a drug – it feels good for a minute but fades quickly. Why does it fade?

Because I don’t attach that to any truth or meaning. Yea, I’m photogenic. Yea, I know that men appreciate the type of body I have. So if I already know these things, why do I think it’s going to help to get it validated from someone else?

So because of this, I want you to do things that make YOU feel beautiful.

Is it a full face of make up and taking a million pictures? GO FOR IT. Post those selfies, boo! Grab all the confidence quotes and blast social media with your gorgeous face. HOWEVER, do it because it makes you feel good. Not because you need to have all of your facebook friends tell you what a babe you are.

Maybe it’s wearing sexy lingerie. This one is a favorite of mine. I am as single as it gets, but I love wearing sexy things for myself. Actually, now that I’m thinking of it, it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten anything new for myself. So once I’m done with this I’m going to find something to make myself feel hot.

I’m going to throw this in here really quick: lingerie is not for the dudes. Nope. Guys do not care. They just want you naked. Period. If they’re the type to not like lingerie, but you want to wear it, WEAR THE DANG THING. They’ll appreciate your confidence and everything else that follows. Just saying.

But on that note – even if it’s just for you – do it. Get yourself a pair of sexy underwear or a cute bra and wear it under your clothes. It’s impossible not to feel sexy when you’ve got lacy boyshorts on. Just saying.

Maybe it’s going on a run or hitting the gym. I feel my absolute sexiest when I’m at the gym lifting. When I finish a hard workout and do my cooldown walk around the track – my confidence is never higher. I can’t help but hold my head up high because I feel so freaking AMAZING.

Maybe it’s cosplay. Maybe it’s turning on the music and clubbing it up in the kitchen.

Whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful, DO IT. And do it often.

You also need to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re a mother loving BABE.

I’m dead serious. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, out loud, “I am BEAUTIFUL.”

Every time you’re in the bathroom, everytime you see yourself in the mirror, check yourself out.

NO this isn’t conceited. I don’t care who has said what to you. You are ALLOWED to be confident in yourself, including your looks. There is a difference between seeing your beauty and becoming self absorbed. It’s not as fine of a line as people think.

Whatever makes you feel good, do it. Just go all out.

I feel my sexiest in a pair of sweats, a tight tank top, cropped hoodie and a backwards hat. Sometimes I even wear my Optimus Prime socks and give myself blue eyebrows.

Why? Because that makes ME feel amazing.

Do other people dig my style? Probably not. But I don’t care. I don’t dress for anyone else but myself. Period.

And I challenge you to do the same.

You are BEAUTIFUL. It’s time to own that.

Thank you for listening.

Don’t forget: You are strong, you are capable, you are intelligent, and you are worthy.

One more time: you are BEAUTIFUL.

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