Can you do me a favor real quick?
If you struggle with feeling like you’re enough, raise your hand.
If you feel like you’re always moving but never getting anything done, raise your hand.
If you feel like you’re not worth it, raise your hand.
If you are given a compliment and you feel uncomfortable, raise your hand.
If you’re anything like me, you raised your hand at at least one of those.
But if we’re being real, you probably raised your hand at all three.
It breaks my heart to say, but a majority of women feel all of these things. They struggle with feeling like they’re worthy or enough.
When someone tells you you’re doing a good job, most of you are quick to say that you still have a long way to go or tell them how it’s not good enough.
This absolutely kills me. It hits me hard because I’ve been there. I’ve been to that point of wondering if I’m enough, being convinced that I wasn’t. I questioned my worth and felt that I didn’t belong anywhere.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my personal development journey was learning how to internalize all of my successes, even the “little” victories.
I’m finding that my clients are thinking the same thing – they also are realizing just how big of an impact this lesson has on them.
If you continually go through life not allowing yourself to feel like you’ve actually succeeded at anything, you’re brain thinks that’s your truth. Your brain says, “Oh man. I never catch a break but she says we don’t do enough. So I guess that’s the truth. We need to go harder.”
This will drive you into the ground. This way of thinking is one of the worst forms of self sabotage. You’re stuck in this cycle of nothing but exhaustion and feeling like you haven’t done anything, which only sends your confidence swirling even further down the toilet.
You need to start recognizing and internalizing your little victories on purpose.
Ok Karleigh, that sounds fine and good, but what does that even mean?
Internalizing your victories means that you are giving yourself a chance to accept the work you’ve done, acknowledge that it’s awesome, and bask in it for a moment. This doesn’t mean that you’re going to walk around thinking you don’t need to be productive, but it means that you’re going to be far less exhausted with far more purpose.
I give each of my clients this assignment:
Every night before bed, write down 5 victories you had that day. I call it their Victory Journal. There is no maximum, but it is a minimum of 5 victories.
A few days later when I check in, they tell me that they haven’t had any victories.
But when we hop on the call and we talk about how their week went, I hear nothing but victories. When I hear these victories during a coaching call, I write them all down. One client struggled coming up with 3 victories that week, but in just describing two days, I had found over 25 victories she had. Twenty five!
When I started reading off her list of victories she was totally blown away.
“I didn’t think that was big enough.”
“Oh! I never thought about that as a victory!”
“I thought it needed to be more substantial than that.”
No victory is too small for the Victory Journal.
Another client that I spoke with had a similar struggle, then told me that she struggled with mild depression. She described her day to day and how she struggled just to get the laundry done, but she had managed to get a load in before hopping on the coaching call.
I excitedly responded, “Oh nice! Did you put that in your Victory Journal for today?!”
She hesitated, “It’s just laundry. I didn’t think of that as a victory.”
This opened up a major discussion that many of us need to have. She straight up said she struggled with getting the laundry done, but she managed to get a load in before our call.
She struggles with the laundry but she did the dang laundry. That is a massive victory. Following through with something you have trouble with is definitely a victory worth writing down. That’s certainly a win for the day.
After discussing what true victories were and how much she actually got done in a day, she didn’t struggle with her Victory Journal anymore.
This is what I really want to hammer home. We get so much more done in a day than we realize. Even on those days when it feels like you haven’t done anything, there were some victories. We all have lazy days that we tend to feel incredibly guilty about. We feel guilty because we feel like we don’t deserve a lazy day.
If you make it a priority to start internalizing your victories, you’re going to find yourself more motivated during the day, your confidence will skyrocket, you’ll find it easier to take breaks, and you’ll begin to really see your worth.
I say that only because as women, so many of us feel like if we’re not doing enough, we don’t feel worthy. Your productivity has nothing to do with your worth. You’ll never be more worthy than you are right now. But internalizing your victories will give you a new set of eyes to see yourself in, thereby recognizing your worth.
So here is my challenge for you:
For the next 21 days, write down 5 victories every night before bed. You’re going to find yourself hesitating to write down things like “put laundry in the dryer” and “drank more water.” You’re not going to feel like they’re victories right away, and that’s ok. Change doesn’t happen overnight. But if you really commit to doing the work, you’re going to be amazed at how far you are three weeks from now.
I created a free journal template to go along with this topic. By clicking here, you can download it and use it as prompts for the next 21 days. It also includes other sections that are very beneficial, but if you just want to start with the Victory Journal part, that is totally OK. I believe this is part of the foundation of cultivating confidence.
If you want to share your victories, feel free to hit me up on Instagram or jump into the Confidence Builders Association, my free exclusive community for women dedicated to personal growth and lifting each other up. I’m so excited for you to see just how awesome you really are.