137: Push Beyond the Fear of Growth

Are you carrying a fear of growth?

If you are, you’re not alone. This is what we’re diving into today.

What holds a lot of people back from growth is knowing that it isn’t going to be easy.

For a break down of the different types of fear and how to combat them, listen to this episode.

Today, we’re asking specifically why you’re afraid of truly growing and healing.

Here’s reality: as you begin to heal, you’re going to work through some of the most difficult things that you’ve been avoiding.

That’s terrifying.

You’ve been avoiding these things for a reason. Now you know that it’s gonna be even worse and so you don’t want to deal.

But even with that being the reality, deep down under all of those things, there’s even more difficult things you don’t want to even acknowledge. Honestly, you may not even entirely know what those things are but you know that it’s gonna be heavy. You know that it’s going to impact you and it might genuinely break your heart. I’ve been there.

Last year, I was punched in the face with some serious intense memories of things that happened to me as a kid. I knew that something had happened but I had no idea how bad it was.

When I say it crushed and absolutely broke me, it’s not an exaggeration.

I have spent a lot of time crying and processing and yelling curse words so loud that my mom called to ask if I was okay. And then I cried some more. It was really scary.

There was definitely a time that I wished I hadn’t done any healing at all. I truly believed that I was going to be crushed under the weight of this grief and this guilt. I thought these constant flashbacks that sleep would bring me meant my life was over.

But you know what happened? I’m still here. I have a lot of work left to do and I am currently seeking out professional help to continue my healing in this area.

But even then, I feel so much freedom now.

I no longer feel like I’m suffocating under a blanket that I can’t see. I’m no longer being crushed under a weight of a secret that I didn’t fully know the extent of.

So many more things in my life make sense. No, it doesn’t make it any easier. But it makes me feel a lot less broken.

When you begin to face the demons that have been haunting you your whole life, it is absolutely terrifying. You feel that you’re being met face to face with the monsters under your bed that you have been hiding from your entire life.

But you’re going to find that you’re actually equipped to fight them. You have so much more strength than you recognize and you’re going to find that those demons lose their power when you take yours back.

The best part of this, and the most humbling part of this, is that you don’t have to do this alone.

In fact, you shouldn’t. Whether it’s a therapist, a coach, a friend, a Facebook group, or all of the above, there are people that are ready to help you fight. There are people that have gone before you and fought their demons, there are people that have gone through and done the work and they’re ready to help you. It doesn’t matter if you’re 16 or 60. It is never too late to find freedom.

It is never too late to fight your demons.

You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are so much more capable, you’re so much more intelligent. You are worthy of the freedom that you have been avoiding your whole life.

You are worthy of the freedom from these things that are holding you down.

You have convinced yourself that this is just the way life is. You’ve convinced yourself that you deserve these things. You’ve convinced yourself that this is just life, because you must have done something so bad in the past that you asked for it.

Here’s the reality: you are worthy of that freedom, you just have to choose to take it.

It’s not a decision that I can make for you. It’s a decision that you have to make on your own. I know that this is so much easier said than done. But you’ve got this. You deserve to live a life outside of the things weighing you down.

It’s going to feel like an exhale of a breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. Then you’re going to find that you can breathe so much easier. The relief you’re going to feel afterward will be entirely worth it.

I know it doesn’t feel that way right now. But it’s true.

And boo, you deserve that.

I don’t ever want to come off as your sweet best friend. I don’t ever want to come off as the mama who’s going to coddle you and be there. No, I am your big sister who’s looking at you and sees your potential. I’ve gone through some stuff and I’ve experienced the fact that there really is freedom even when I didn’t believe that there was. I love you too much to let you stay there.

But you have to choose to take it. And once you do, once you make that terrifying decision, you’re going to realize that it was the best decision that you ever made. You’ve got this.

If you don’t know where to start, check out this playlist on YouTube. It’s a curated playlist of videos that break down the start of your healing journey.

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