113: Getting that Confident Woman Aesthetic

In doing some research, I came across this concept on Pinterest. People are actually searching the term “confident woman aesthetic.

I understand that the whole idea of confidence can be ridiculously overwhelming. It feels elusive, something that everyone else but you can have. You have to wear the right clothes, the right make up, have your hair done the right way in order to truly experience that confidence.

Let me be honest with you: it’s all noise and 100% unnecessary.

If you are looking for the confident woman aesthetic, the thing that’s going to push you to the next level, it’s time to look in the mirror.

I am the most confident person that I know. And I certainly don’t fit the aesthetic that was showing on Pinterest. So where’s the disconnect?

When we think that confidence is something external.

We think that confidence is something that we can get from something else aside from us. As someone who chased the confident woman aesthetic for years, I wasted a majority of my life.

Here’s a hard truth:

No specific aesthetic is going to get you to confidence.

The confident woman that you’re looking for is inside of you.

All you have to do is encourage her to come out.

Confidence is not this thing that’s bestowed upon some people and other people missed it. That’s not how it works. Are some people are encouraged in their skill of confidence? Yes.

But just like some people are more encouraged in the skill of math, the skill of science, artsy skills, some are encouraged in the skill confidence.

Just because someone didn’t grow up being told they were a good artist doesn’t mean they can’t be, they just have to put in the work.

Confidence is the same way.

Confidence is something you have to work at every single day.

So what’s confidence anyway?

Confidence is believing in your ability to figure it out. Whatever it may be, knowing that you’ve got this.

Confidence is living into and up to who you truly want to be, not some aesthetic.

Personally, confidence didn’t come in skinny jeans and platform heels.

Confidence for me comes in really weird shirts and tattoo chokers. It’s being enthusiastic and exciting, loud and over the top. You can slap on some blue brows and some black lipstick, and you may feel on top of the world. Or you feel as fake as you’ve ever felt.

Whatever your thing is, that’s confidence.

Confidence is not found on a Pinterest board or in the way you wear your hair. Confidence is found in who you are and the life you’re willing to go after.

Something that I get all the time from people is “Oh my gosh, I wish I had your confidence. I wish I could do what you do.”

Do these people look like me? 99% of the time they don’t. They’re not wanting to rock blue hair and black lipstick. What they want is the ability to be authentically themselves.

Stop chasing after this confidence aesthetic and find you.

Confidence is not the thing that you’re going to find from somebody else. Confidence isn’t the sending of finding a course.

Yes, I have a confidence course. However, if you don’t take the things I tell you and do the work, you’re not going to reach that ultimate goal of confidence.

If you want to grab that course, it’s totally free, and you can check it out here.

After that, confidence is being able to be yourself unapologetically.

How do you do that?

Start with what you wear.

For me, it’s bright blue hair, nerd shirts and baggy sweats.

For you, maybe it’s red lipstick. Heck, it may be no make up at all.

It could be a new hairstyle, wearing shorts, or pulling your favorite outfit together from the 80s.

It’s what makes you feel like a complete badass.

That is how you create your confident woman aesthetic.

“But Karleigh – I don’t know what I like. I don’t know what makes me feel that way. Where do I start?”

This is your chance to play and try on whatever sounds remotely interesting. It could be going to goodwill and thrifting some cheap outfits to try. Maybe you can go to Target and try on things completely outside of your comfort zone.

The important thing is that you don’t do what other people think look good. What matters is that YOU think it looks good.

I get comments all the time from people who want me to dress more girly or just ‘less weird.’ But I did that for a majority of my life and hated it. Now I dress for me and I love it.

Confidence doesn’t look one specific way – it’s individual for everyone.

I’d love to know – what does confidence look like for you?

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