109: How to Face your Fear

A very important skill in confidence building is being able to recognize and face your fears.

A lot of the times our fear doesn’t actually present itself as “Oh my gosh, I’m so scared.”

When I say fear, I am talking about “perfectionism”.

If you call yourself a perfectionist, you’re not really a perfectionist. You’re just scared.

You’re scared of putting stuff out there, you’re scared of failing. Nothing is ever going to be perfect until you actually put it out into the world. Then it gets criticized and then you clean it up and you make it better. So if you’re not doing that, you’re not a true perfectionist.

Fear can show up as perfectionism. It can also show up as isolating yourself, hiding away from the world.

Fear shows up as self sabotage. Whether you’re self sabotaging your new fitness plan, your recovery journey, your journaling.

Fear shows up in so many different ways.

It’s time to address it because fear gets a really bad rap. But in all actuality, its pretty dang important.

Fear is what keeps us from doing really stupid things.

It keeps us from playing in the freeway, right? Fear is what keeps us alive.

Without fear, we wouldn’t have anything stopping us and the human race would disappear pretty dang quick.

Even the people who do stupid things – they’re here because they have a healthy fear of the things that would actually take them off of this planet.

Today we’re learning to call out, recognize and embrace your fear. You’re going to use it to propel you forward towards your goals.

Maybe your fear is blocking the phone number, saying no in intimate situations, or having a difficult conversation with your family.

Your fear could be telling someone close to you about what happened when you were a kid or allowing yourself to date again.

Whatever it is, whether you think your fear is ‘big’ or ‘small,’ none of that matters.

Your fears are valid.

All of your thoughts, feelings and emotions surrounding those fears are valid and they matter. They matter because they’re part of you and you matter.

I’m not telling you to ignore the fear or pretend it’s not there.

But it’s important to recognize and pinpoint your fear.

If you’re in a place where you feel like you’re not scared, you just don’t want to, then I want you to start listing off all of the reasons (aka excuses) why you don’t want to.

Spoiler alert: fear lives within those excuses.

Whether you like it or not, fear exists within us. There’s actually a lot more fear there than we’d like to admit.

So step number one is recognizing what those fears are. The next step is doing the dang thing anyway.

How do you get to that place of feeling fear and doing it anyway?

Pull out a journal, even just a blank piece of paper, and write down one thing you’ve said you want to do but haven’t yet.

Ask yourself why you haven’t done it and then write down everything that comes to mind.

Look at those reasons and then ask why they’re holding you back. Why is that a reason you haven’t started?

Keep asking why.

As you do this, you’re going to get to the root of why it’s impacting you, of why it’s holding you back. As you get to the root of those whys, you’ll recognize the fears within them.

The powerful part of recognizing these fears is that even though you’re pushing past them to move forward in this one area, you’re actually going to experience immense growth in your whole life.

As you pinpoint your fears, decide on one or two action steps you’re going to take to conquer them.

If you’re afraid of blocking the phone number because you’re scared that that’s the only attention and affection you’re going to get, maybe you need to work on your mindset and build your sense of self worth. Maybe your action step is to sign up for a free confidence course to build up your confidence to know that you deserve better.

You’re not throwing fear in the garbage and pretending it doesn’t exist. You’re recognizing that fear is there and you’re working with it instead of against it.

If you can, work your fear into what you’re doing.

For example, something I’ve been terrified to do is start live streaming video games. I’ve always wanted to, but I’ve been scared because honestly I suck at them.

What I decided to do is, instead of ignore that fear, I worked it into my platform. KarleighSucksAtGaming is literally my handle. I looked fear in the face and tied it into what I was doing. I have no need to pretend like that fear doesn’t exist because it’s right there.

Can you work fear into what you’re doing? How can you use it to your advantage?

No matter what it is that you’re scared of, you can push past it.

This is the power of awareness and recognizing the root of our fears.

As you do this work, you’ll find that there are constant things to gauge progress and celebrate.

Every step forward is an act of celebration and recognition. You’re literally looking fear in the face and taking it’s hand. It’s joining you instead of holding you back.

This is helping you to grow your confidence on a massive scale. Because not only are you seeing that you can push past this fear, you’re telling your brain that you’re capable of more than you ever thought possible.

You’re teaching your brain that you believe in it’s ability to figure it out.

That, my friend, is true confidence.

If this resonated with you and you’re ready to take the next step, grab my free confidence course. This course will teach you, in 15 minutes a day for five days, the exact skills you need to build the skill of confidence and see your worth. To grab yours, click here!

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