You deserve so much more than you think you do.
I remember being 17 years old in my first abusive relationship.
I would get comments all the time about how attractive my boyfriend was. All the popular girls in school were asking me how I could get someone so hot.
I was completely oblivious to the fact that this was incredibly insulting. The issue was that i believed that because he was so attractive that the abuse was the price I had to pay.
As sad as that may sound, I’m not the only one who feels that way. If I’ve learned nothing else, after being in the abuse recovery industry for the last few years, is that all of those feelings that I felt, other women felt the same.
Looking back, if I felt that worthless, there is someone who feels that worthless right now. And chances are that person is under the belief that it is better to be abused with someone than to be alone. You think that that’s the best you can possibly get.
But I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong.
No matter how you perceive yourself, regardless of whether you think you’re beautiful, (which you are), regardless of whether or not you think you’re intelligent, (which you are), regardless of any of those things.
No one deserves to go through abuse.
I’m specifically talking to the woman who thinks every night before she goes to bed, “oh my gosh, I wish he would just hit me so I would have a reason to leave.”
I am speaking to the woman who was begging herself to get it together, covered in bruises because she wants to leave.
I’m speaking to the 14, 15, 16 year old little girl who is dealing with being assaulted and abused on a regular basis because that’s what she thinks she can deserves.
I believed the lie for a very long time that because I was fat, I deserved it.
Deep down I truly believed that I had to take what I could get when the reality is that I deserved more than I could comprehend.
It’s easier said than done to reach that understanding I know. This mindset shift came after years of work. But I am going to make damn sure that after all of this work that I’ve done, I am not going to stay quiet.
Because right now someone needs to be reminded of their worth.
You need to be reminded of your worth. Whether you are single, in a healthy relationship, or in a toxic relationship, you deserve more.
You deserve love and love is not abuse.
Love is not put downs, gaslighting, or manipulation. Love is not physical assault or compromising on your boundaries to give someone else what they want.
I am here to tell you that you are incredible. You are wonderful, ravishing, exquisite.
You are the only you on this planet.
Out of billions of people, there is literally no one in the world, like you.
I know what it’s like to go to bed at night wishing that you don’t wake up the next morning. I know what it’s like hoping that he comes home in a good mood. That feeling of constantly locking yourself in the bathroom praying to God that his rage subsides before he busts through the door.
I also know that no one deserves to feel that way. At 17 years old my boyfriend sexually assaulted me because he decided he was done waiting. He didn’t care whether or not I was ready or if I wanted to.
But I stayed.
I stayed because I thought that this was all I could get.
I thought that because everyone talked about how great he was that I just needed to put up with it.
Deep in my soul I truly considered myself God’s first mistake and I don’t say that to be dramatic. I want you to know where I’m coming from.
If you never see anything from me ever again, I want you to internalize this message:
You are worth more, you deserve more. The love and affection that you dream of – you deserve that.
You deserve the healthy relationship that you think is for everybody else.
You deserve those dreams and those goals that lights you up inside I don’t care who says otherwise.
The very first time I heard this, I was listening to Brooke Castillo’s the Life Coach School podcast, which I highly highly recommended.
What she said stopped me in my tracks.
You are worthy.
You will never be worth more than you are right now.
You’re not more worthy now than you were 10 years ago.
There is nothing you could do to add to or take away your worth. Your worthiness simply is. You are you and you are worthy. Period.
Do you understand how powerful that is?
You say “Oh, that’s great for everybody else. But she’s not talking to me. She doesn’t get it.”
No, boo. I’m talking to you. And I want you to hear me when I say you deserve more. You deserve better.
Whether or not you believe me doesn’t matter because it’s the truth.
I wish that I was able to grab you by the shoulders and shake you awake and shake the belief into you. Because I see so much more in you than you see in yourself right now. And that’s okay.
I know that this takes time. I am not saying this from a place of me having it all together and having it all figured out. No, I am saying this because that was me three years ago.
I am coming to you because I know what that feels like. And I also know what it feels like to break free of that.
I know what it feels like to work through those hard things. You deserve more, and you deserve better.
Abuse is not love.
Physical assault is not love, manipulations and put downs are not love. If you are in this situation right now, I want you to hear me when I say that you can get out.
It may take time but I promise you that it’s possible.
You are strong enough, capable enough, intelligent enough, and more than worthy.
If you have any questions or need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram. I’m super active on there and I answer all my DMs.
You’ve got this, boo.
Here’s the video:
Did that hit home? I truly feel like someone desperately needed to hear this. Maybe it was you.
If so, I hope you understand how amazing and worthy and deserving you are.
You are more incredible than you could ever know.
If you want to watch the video and see the other library of resources I have available there, go to karleighlynne.com/youtube.
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