Community is such a vital part to our humanity.
When it comes to abuse recovery, community is a requirement.
Having a solid community can mean the difference between you going back to where you were and propelling yourself forward to your best life.
That doesn’t mean that you’re too weak to do this on your own. It just means that you aren’t meant to.
As humans, we are hard wired to be social and to need other humans. This is one of the reasons we find ourselves falling backwards and going back to our abuser. We feel so isolated and that they’re all we have, so it’s better to have them than be alone.
That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who understand what you’ve been through and who will support you on your journey.
It wasn’t until I found my tribe that I was finally able to let go of my ex and truly move on.
When you’re in recovery, you don’t trust yourself. You don’t know if you’re understanding situations correctly, you don’t know if what you’re seeing is really happening.
Having a group of women around me to shake me awake when I wanted to go back, or when I was gaslighting myself was the best thing I could’ve asked for.
Our brains are hardwired to seek out and become attached to honeymoon moments, the good times in the relationship. These moments cloud our vision and make us think the situation we were in wasn’t all that bad.
Not having someone to call you out in these moments is dangerous. It’s so easy to go back to a bad situation without someone to bring you back to reality.
With that being said, there may be some people in your tribe that you don’t personally know.
For example, Jasmine Star is my business BFF but she doesn’t even know who I am. But being part of her community has been such an important part of my recovery journey. She’s taught me that my story matters, that my dreams matter. Jasmine showed me what it means to do the hard stuff even when it was absolutely terrifying. She puts her heart and soul in everything she does and it inspires me to do the same.
There are so many others that have made MASSIVE impacts on my life that I’ve never met. While I don’t call them at 2am crying, they’re there for me when I need a podcast at 2am. They inspire me when I want to give up.
These wonderful people were there for me when I couldn’t find the courage to make true one on one connections.
This isn’t to take away from how important one on one connections are, but I wanted you to see how your tribe can be a wide array of people, whether you know them or not.
Making connections with people who understand what you’ve been through is absolutely freeing. When I was in my first abusive relationship, no one around me understood. I was embarrassed to talk about it and when I did, they would say things like “If it’s that bad, just leave.”
When I was out and I made mention of missing him, they’d get upset with me.
It made me feel even worse about myself and pushed me even more into isolation.
Once I sought out people who had been there, I felt so validated.
Someone who’s been through it will be able to sit with out in your struggle in a way that others can’t.
But with that being said, you want to make sure that these people won’t push you into chronic victimhood. You need to find people that get it and will hold your hand, but they also need to love you enough to encourage you to get your life back.
There are some people who aren’t ready to heal and they pull you down. That doesn’t make them bad, but it may not be a healthy relationship for you right now.
Then there are people who have been there, have experienced freedom from it and care about you enough to not let you stay in that place. That’s the kind of person I need.
That’s the kind of person I’m striving to be.
I’m so passionate about this I created an entire membership program around recovery and community.
I wanted a place where it was safe to fall, where people would catch me, but would also encourage me to grow. That’s what I needed when I was in that place, so I created it.
Worthy. is a group coaching membership program centered around community. This is a place where you’ll not only get coached every month along with an action plan, but you’re surrounded with other women who get it, women who have been there.
For more details on Worthy. and to get on the waitlist so you’re the first to know when it opens, click here! Trust me, you don’t want to miss this.
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