This is one of my all time favorite things to talk about.
Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest of four and I tend to be a little bossy. Not that I don’t think what I have to say has value without my bossiness, but being able to help people break down their excuses and really go after the life they want fires me up.
Beware: after this episode you won’t have any excuses left. I’m not here to keep you comfortable, I’m here to help you grow. Growth doesn’t happen when you’re comfortable. Growth happens when you go outside of your comfort zone.
That’s where we’re going to live today: Outside of the comfort zone.
We’re going to talk about the ever popular phrase “I can’t.”
How often in a day do you think to yourself “I can’t?”
I can’t run a marathon.
But I can’t get in shape.
I can’t get healthy.
I can’t date.
Now way – I can’t read that.
I can’t take that course.
I can’t get that coach.
You don’t get it, I can’t start the program.
I can’t heal from this.
It’s just that I can’t recover from my past.
I can’t get better.
I get it. I get stuck in this, too. But here’s my question – are those statements true? Are the I can’ts actually true? Let’s change it up.
I won’t run a marathon.
I won’t get in shape.
Nope – I won’t get healthy.
I won’t date.
I won’t read that.
No thanks – I won’t get that coach.
I won’t start the program.
I won’t heal from this.
Nah, I won’t recover from my past.
That hits different, huh? It’s uncomfortable.
99% of the time, when we say we ‘can’t’ we mean that we’re not willing to put in the work necessary to make it happen.
So here’s the deal – there are very few things you CAN’T do. You physically can’t grow wings and fly. I mean, if you can, we’ve got some My Hero Academia/X-Men stuff to talk about, man.
You CAN’T fly. You physically can’t do it.
So when you say you can’t, is it true?
This is one of the toughest, best exercises you can do for yourself.
If you actually put thought into it, you may find that some of these things you say you want you don’t actually want. It just sounds cool to say you want to.
For example, if you say you want to run a marathon but you can’t, it feels pretty good to say that you WANT to. It’s like it makes you part of this elite group that you would WANT to run 26.2 miles. But the fact that you CAN’T makes you feel noble.
But really, is that true?
People in worse shape than you have run marathons. People with missing limbs manage to run marathons. So is it true that you can’t? No. You just don’t want to.
And that’s OK! Because if you don’t want to, you can push that out of your mind and it’ll stop wasting precious brainspace. If you finally decide you won’t run a marathon, you can stop wasting time thinking about it. Let it go.
So while it’s an initial hit to the ego, it’s one of the most freeing things you can do because you can finally let go of these things that you really don’t want.
But here’s the other side of it: this is the best way to get rid of all of your excuses.
If you decide that you won’t, cool, let it go. But if you admit to yourself that you HAVEN’T been because you wouldn’t do the work but it is something you want, then you’ll have to start taking actions toward making it happen.
Because as time goes on, you’ll find that if you truly want something, you’ll make it happen. You’ll work toward it. If you won’t work toward it, then you don’t want to. Period.
Something may sound nice to have, something may feel good to say you want. But if all you have are reasons why you won’t, then it isn’t something you want bad enough to actually make it happen.
So next time you’re saying you can’t do something, put won’t instead of can’t and pay attention to your physical reaction to how it feels. If it feels uncomfortable, then you’re realizing that haven’t been making efforts because of your personal choices. Then you need to decide if it’s something you truly want or not.
Give yourself the chance to grow.
Just go after it. You may not get it perfect the first time or the tenth time, but that’s how you grow.
So send me a DM on instagram @karleigh.lynne and let me know about your can’t vs won’t experience. I want to know how this affected you and how you’re going to change your life!