What are you allowing to fill you? What are you consuming on a regular basis?
These questions are a lot more important than we think. We have become so desensitized to what we’re given on a regular basis that we don’t even realize how harmful it is to us and our wellbeing.
When I say consume – I’m not talking about your food. That is important, but that’s obviously not why we’re here today.
When I say consume, I’m talking about media. Music. TV. Podcasts. Movies.
These impact us far more than we even realize. What you feed your mind is what it believes as reality. It doesn’t know the difference between something fake and something real, it just takes it as is. So when you continually fill your mind with certain things, it believes it as reality.
This all seems super dramatic, I’m sure.
Let’s start with music. This is one of the hardest things to change because music is so powerful. It connects us to our emotions better than our own words can.
But what I realized is that the music I listened to dictated my mood. I realized the music I listened to went against what it was I was trying to do and be.
While the music I listened to was catchy and spoke to how I was feeling at a certain time, it didn’t serve me anymore.
I was listening to songs that I sang along to, over and over again.
In singing these songs, I was telling myself that I was a mess, a loser, bad at love. That I would be alone forever and the whole world was out to get me. I began to internalize these messages and apply them to my relationships. I began to believe these messages.
That isn’t to say that all songs that aren’t positive are all awful all the time.
Without Me and Bad at Love by Halsey got me through a really rough time after my ex kicked me out.
That song served me for a time, it helped me feel empowered. But it isn’t something that belongs in my life anymore. I don’t need to fill myself with those messages anymore.
The same goes for the media, for TV, video games, movies. If you’re consistently filling yourself with messages that are constantly going against what you’re trying to do and how you want to grow, you’re sabotaging yourself.
Again, I realize that it’d be a very boring life if you never watched anything a bit crazy.
Deadpool is one of my top favorite movies and I’m a total comic book nerd. So I tend to watch and read some out there and violent things. But I’m also very intentional with how I balance that. For every crazy violent or negative thing I watch, I watch something positive and fulfilling. Movies like Beauty and the Beast and Mulan remind me of my potential and to not give up. Yes I’m a total Disney nut, too.
But I also have to think through some of the seemingly not so negative things that may negatively affect me in a certain time.
For example, I LOVE New Girl. I’ve watched it more times that I can count, from beginning to end. I watch it over and over and still find it funny. But it’s also very romantically driven, and that’s a trigger for me right now. I am happy in my singleness and I’m single on purpose. I’ve got goals and actively dating isn’t one of them.
But I still get lonely at times. I’ve been actually single for almost 3 years, and was in an unfulfilling, unhealthy relationship for 7 years before that. I miss being in a relationship.
So when I’m in a negative headspace, even though I find New Girl funny, I realize that I can’t watch things like that. It becomes a trigger that sets off the loneliness.
This isn’t about getting rid of everything you love or only listening to personal development all the time. It’s about creating awareness. When you’re aware, you’re more capable of taking care of yourself the way you need to be taken care of.
So what I’m asking you to do is be aware. Be more critical of what you’re consuming, and make sure you’re creating balance. Twice as much positive as negative. So if a good song comes on that you know isn’t all that great for you, listen to a podcast that fills you up.
Become aware of you’re consuming so you can balance it and create the best environment possible to cultivate the confidence you deserve.