Episode 11: Time to Focus on the Negative

How you speak to yourself is so much more important than you’d think.

I go more into this on episodes 3 and 4, but still. I don’t think the importance of this statement can be emphasized enough. Your. Words. Matter.

I harp on self talk a lot for that exact reason. I try to focus more on adding positive talk versus focusing on the negative talk.

However, especially in the world today, I keep hearing more and more negative self talk and self deprecation. It breaks my heart.

Yes – I stand by the fact that it is EXTREMELY important to continue to focus on your affirmations and adding in positive self talk. But it is just as important to see just how often you speak negatively to yourself.

Chances are, you don’t even notice. It’s just become solid habit.

You speak badly to yourself so often that you don’t see it.

So for the first and only time, I’m going to ask you to focus on the negative.

Not because I want you to punish yourself. But because I want you to become aware. You can’t become aware without acknowledging. You can’t acknowledge without focus.

For this, I want you to break out a journal.

Not a google doc. Not talking into your phone. An actual pen to paper journal. There are power in your words. And when you write them down, they become pure magic.

Over the next few days, I really want you to focus on the things you say to yourself.

But not just the blatant I’M SO STUPID. The little things you don’t normally notice.

The “Oh I could never do that.”

The “Oh I wish X but Y.”

The “I just hate how I look in these jeans.”

We don’t realize just how powerful these phrases are.

Every time you say one of these things, your brain takes that as reality.

Your brain doesn’t realize that you’re telling yourself negative things – it thinks you’re telling it the truth.

In our negative world, the last thing your brain needs is you telling it that it it’s not good enough.

So when these thoughts come up, write them down. Keep the journal handy so you can write as you go throughout the days. After three or four days, look for the ones that you wrote down more than once. Any patterns you notice, those are the things you’re going to tackle first.

Turn to a new piece of paper and write the negative thought at the top.

Then I want you to write down all the positive truths that negate that. Whether you believe those truths right now isn’t important. Just the fact that you write them down.

For example, if it’s “I could never run a marathon,” write down how that’s not true.

Do you have legs? Do they function? If so, then you can run a marathon. If not, look up the many disabled runners that make it happen.

Write down how you’re committed to the process and that you can train to make it happen.

Write down that you’re capable of going after this goal, even if it’s hard.

Do that with all of the negative thoughts that come up. Every. Single. One of them.

This will take time, and it’s going to be difficult at first, but if you follow through with this, you’re going to step into a whole new realm. A realm where you see yourself as the amazing, strong, badass woman you really are.

You deserve that.

In fact, make that one of the positives you write down for everything you think you can’t do.

“I deserve this.”

I deserve to go after my dreams. I deserve to achieve them. I deserve a life that’s full of joy and wonder and crushing my goals.

Ready to take your life back? Check out my free five day confidence course. In less than 20 minutes a day, you’ll get all the skills you need in order to build the skill of confidence and live the life you deserve. Click here to listen!

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